The First Trimester

I don’t really know why I decided to write about my day. I used to keep a diary as a teenager and my parents are still keeping hold of it. When I read it now it seems so bizarre and the person I used to be so different. My life was certainly more eventful. I remember having lots of “friends” and events, parties constantly to attend to. We were all artists in our own right, fought for animal rights and I could not care less for material restrains.

I spoke to an old friend today, who stressed how she worries about the future and that she changed so much over the years. I told her that she should not worry as it is natural, years ago we did not have to work and pay rent, so we did not understand worries of the every day life. Now as two married women, both approaching 30 and starting a family, we are more eager to have stability and a secure roof over our heads. We are both extremely lucky to have such loving and caring husbands, but reality is not made of rose petals. My dreams of owning a home with a garden are getting stronger now that I am in my early pregnancy.

At the same time I am struggling with constant morning sickness. My main foods are fruits and soy yoghurts. Apparently it will even out soon. I also have a tendency to sleep all the time, which enables me to work.

From a 100% extravert I became within weeks a complete introvert. Self aware, uncomfortable around people, my ideal is to hide at home. If I could only be in a Polish country side, near nature, London seems so dirty and hostile, artificial. I feel a need to paint, sculpt, and sew.

I completely went off cooking, as looking at food makes me sick. Poor Warwick has been cast away and made to eat in the other room as any food related smells drive me insane. He is so sweet and caring.

Tomorrow we are going for a scan.

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